Save me from myself

[morgia]

Title: Save me from myself
Parings/characters: Ianto, Jack, team
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters.
Summary: Ianto's introspection about Jack after his suspension.....
Spoilers: post cyberwoman
warning: a litle bit of angst
Rating: nc-15 (just to be certain)
Beta:the so awesome   thrace_adams
Note from the author: This is the result of the ideas the wonderful and so brilliant wykling gave me. I hope its ok my dear friend. HAPPY BIRTHAY!!!!!!!!

Save me from myself

 

 

 

First week after his suspension

 

Ianto Jones enters the office with coffee. He puts the cup on the desk, without a   word. He pastes a polite smile on his face. His hands doesn’t shake, he has perfect control of his emotions, even if inside the screaming is so loud that he has to restrain himself from covering his ears with his hands. But Ianto Jones is the perfect image of the butler: the one I deserve to be, the one he asked for……….

“Hummm, Ianto magic coffee, I missed that so much!”

“It’s my pleasure sir.”

But that doesn’t  mean I forgiver you Jack……

“Anything else you need sir?”

The older man looks at the younger man in front of him. For a moment, a subtle and ephemeral moment, Ianto Jones has the sensation of being caressed by his deep blue eyes, as if strong arms are pulling him firmly into a  warm embrace.  But the moment vanishes in second and slowly, a grin dances on the older man’s lips.

“Not for the moment Ianto….”

The young man nods politely and exits the office. A cold laugh explodes in his throat and dies on his lips. Ianto Jones knows too well that Captain Jack Harkness is a big bastard hero, he has no compassion, no tenderness. I’m just a fool. So he squeezes his fist, raises his head and walks away.

 

 

Two weeks after his suspension

Ianto Jones sighs profoundly, he’s so exhausted, he feels like he could fall asleep right there in front of his coffee machine. The team is gone now, the Hub is calm and empty. Hours before screams and cries had exploded in the air, result of a bad Weevil hunt with Jack and Gwen. This time two teenagers died in an alley. During which Gwen cried and yelled after Jack, this last one hitting her and the others with the reality of just what the price was for the safety and security of the human race. Just like killing my girlfriend for the safety of the humanity…

 

 He’s now alone in the Hub, he had to clean the place after the others left. He can see the light on in Jack office. So he brings the coffee, puts a polite smile on his face, tries to push away the fatigue that numbs his mind and walks toward Jack’s office. He pauses for a moment in front of the door, sighs deeply, arranges his tie and enters the room.

“Your coffee sir.”

“Put it there on my desk.”

Of course Jack, I’m always there for you Jack, your docile Ianto is always there Jack…..

The young man puts the cup on the desk, fixes a smile on his face and restrains the scream in his soul threatening to explode in the air.

“Do you need something more sir?”

The other man doesn’t answer, his eyes locked on his paper work. He seems not to have even noticed the young man presence.

“Sir?”

Of course, you don’t see me Jack…

“Don’t… Don’t work too late.. Sir…”

At the moment the young man turns to leave a voice stops him.

“Ianto? Can you stay here? I….Can you just sit for a moment?”

“Of course, sir.”

The moment he sits in the chair exhaustion overwhelms him and feels his eyes grow heavy. Before everything goes black, he sees something strange in Jack’s eyes, something like tenderness. He thinks he might even see a sad smile on his face.

“Sir…”

“Shhhh…. It’s all right Ianto… Don’t fight the sleep…..”

 

Three weeks after his suspension

The sound of gunfire echoes in the air. Ianto Jones runs as fast he can. Not again, please, not again…Gwen is having a day off and Owen is sick at home, he has to go into the field with Jack and Tosh. In the blink of an eye they had been separated. There are three aliens free in the city, three monsters running in the dark alleys. Ianto manages to kill one before Jack and Tosh run after the other two. He has that cold sinking sensation that something bad is going to  happen. So he runs as fast as he can. He hears Tosh screaming and it’s like the world around him stops. No, please, not her, please….. He turns the corner and the scene in front of him makes him freeze: Two aliens attacking her, blood is, she looks like a broken porcelain doll. So Ianto Jones takes his gun and shoots. Jack, son of a bitch why is she alone with two monsters? He sees one alien fall to the ground but doesn’t see the one who pushes him violently against the wall. The impact takes his breath away and a second later the pain in his back and his head is like a thunder inside him.

“JACK!”

He screams his name without even realizing it.

I don’t want to die… Please… I don’t want to die…..

Then another gunshot explodes through the air and the alien falls to the ground beside him. His vision is fuzzy, but he sees his captain holding Toshiko in his arms and talking to her softly. He knows she’ll survive, he just knows it. He fights the darkness, he wants to stay awake. The scene in front of him fascinates him, the big cold hero Jack Harkness rocking Tosh almost like a father holds his child, with tenderness and love. Before he fall unconscious, Ianto Jones sees deep concerned blue eyes looking at him and it’s like a ball of fire consumes him. Jack saves me…..

 

Four weeks after his suspension

It’s late at night, Ianto Jones is cleaning the place up before he leaves for home. He raises his eyes and sees the light in Jack’s office. So he puts a polite smile on his face, sighs profoundly, takes the coffee cup and walks toward the office. He enters the place and puts the cup on the desk.

“Your coffee, sir.”

The man doesn’t answer, just continues looking  at his paper work.

“Don’t work too late, sir…Good night.”

But Ianto Jones doesn’t go away. For the first time in a long  while, he takes the time to really look at the man in front of him, the man he called his captain, the man he knows is the leader of Torchwood three. But the big damn hero of everyday doesn’t look like so powerful at this moment. Shadows dance in his eyes, he looks like he has all the pain in the world resting on his shoulders. Then Ianto Jones understands: Jack I see you.  So he closes the space between them, opens his arms and holds the famous Captain Jack Harkness tightly in them. The older man freezes for a moment, closes his eyes, sighs and returns the embrace of the younger man.

“Ianto….”

“I’m here, Jack…. I’m here, now….”

 

FIN